SATIRE: SGA Minutes | Questionable choices at every step

President Tre Nelson began the meeting by taking a microphone from his coat pocket, dropping it and walking out, throwing a deuces sign as he played “Bad and Boujee” by Migos.

President Elect Jacob Ellis took over and congratulated the new 2018-2019 senators for winning the annual NSU popularity contest.

Ellis also announced that the speaker for the spring commencement ceremonies will be University of Louisiana System Dr. Jim Henderson, despite the large sum in the SGA speakers fund.

Advisor Shayne Creppel did not show up at the beginning of the meeting but ran in when he felt his spidey senses tingling because senators were not in proper meeting attire.

Concerned students brought up Neebo’s closure and the Chick-fil-A construction, asking how students will safely cross University Parkway with the busy street.

“We’re planning on commissioning a bouncy castle overhead walkway,” Ellis said. “We’ll have to make sure it’s bird-proof and high enough for semis to pass under.”

Jordan Reich

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