The catholic girl’s guide to divorce

Throughout my four years at a Catholic high school, several theological stances were drilled into my brain: abortion, morality, sex before marriage, etc.

By now, I’m sure that we all have read something about Catholics believing in this or not believing in that, but not many people know what goes through the mind a Catholic teenage girl when her whole life has been surrounded by divorce.

I believe that love is endless and that everyone has someone or something they love. The Catholic Church doesn’t condemn divorcees, but they make it known that it isn’t right. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church Articles 2381-84, divorce is listed as a serious and immoral offense. It breaks God’s contract of marriage and goes against natural law. If divorcees decide to get remarried their partners have also committed adultery.

Divorce in the Catholic Church is something that more people need to address. Marriages end, children go back and forth between parents and that is okay. It takes years to overcome, and honestly, I’m still not over it. I still go back and forth between my parents because that is my normal. It’s all I know. I’m not trying to sugar-coat divorce because it does suck, and I wish every child were able to see both parents or end up with great stepparents.

I understand the divorce doctrine for the Church, but I don’t agree with it. I believe that God’s love ties a man and woman together through matrimony. That is beautiful and it brings me joy that God is blessing two people on the happiest day of their lives.

What I don’t understand is why marriage is treated as a contract. Sometimes things don’t work out, that is life, and both parties need to be considered when that happens. I believe that God understands this and wants everyone to be happy because he loves us. So even if two people end up getting divorced that does not mean God loves them any less or that he won’t bring the right person into both of their lives.

Because of this, I am glad that divorce is an option, though it should be the last option. Anyone with divorced parents should not feel like the divorce was their fault. I decided that my life would not be defined on the fact that I had to witness two people that I love dearly fall out of love with each other. I also decided that my view on love would be positive and that love gives people second chances when they are ready. My family may seem broken, but it isn’t. I am blessed with two different but complete families.

So, when I tell someone that my parents are divorced, I say it with pride. No one needs to try and console me or tell me what they think I want to hear. My life wasn’t terrible. I may have come from a broken home, but it didn’t mean that I was broken.

Trinity Velazquez

Share your thoughts