The holidays are said to be the most wonderful time of year, but that is a lie. They are the most stressful time of year. The holidays bring families together but also tear them apart.
Family members you barely recognize come to town for a day, if you are lucky. Awkward conversations and questions arise. Basic questions like “How’s school?” or “What’s your major?” are easy to answer. The conversations that follow are easy and slightly interesting.
I like when other people tell me their life stories.
But then comes the inevitable question. An uncle or aunt plops down next to me as I stuff ham down my throat and asks, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend? You are too pretty to be single.”
First, thank you for the compliment.
Second, I stare at my shoes like they are the most interesting thing in the world when a guy makes eye contact with me.
Third, why does it matter? I’m pretty, regardless if I have a boyfriend or not.
The question bothers me, but the attempt to encourage me when I don’t need it is what annoys me the most. No one has to tell me that I will find someone or that the right person will come when I’m ready. I know that, people tell girls that all the time.
Why don’t my brothers get asked if they have a girlfriend? They’re asked questions about scholarships, job opportunities and sports. Why don’t I get those? I have scholarships, I follow my college sports teams and I have a job. I can answer any questions you might have.
Instead of asking me about relationships, why not ask me about how I want to use my degree to change the world? Ask me about my plans after graduation or what internships I want to apply for.
Why can’t we talk about matters more substantial then my dating life? We could talk about politics, the news, religion, and new TV shows. You could rant about how my cousin never does the dishes.
Ask me why I changed majors, and I will tell you how excited and happy I am working for my college newspaper. Ask me about my experience as an editor and everything I have been able to do because of it.
If you have to ask, I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t have the time or energy to pay attention to someone else. I already need it for myself.
I have so much more to offer than just telling you, “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m too busy getting my degree.”
So, don’t ask me if I have a boyfriend. Just watch me stuff my mouth.